Grammy's Boots

Many of you know that every month I call my Grammy to go over her bills and balance her checkbook for her. She is in CT and it is heartbreaking that she is so far away, but she always manages to make me laugh with her repetitive stories and the little things she says.

The beginning of September I went through the typical ritual and everything seemed fine. I did notice that she wrote a check to Comfort Moccasins. I didn't think much about it at the time. I figured she probably ordered something out of one of her magazines of the newspaper.

Well, Friday she called my mother to ask her if she sent her some boots. My mother said, "No, why would I send you boots? I don't even like boots or anything about boots so I wouldn't send you any." My Grammy proceeds to tell my mom that earlier in the week she received an odd box and inside were some rubber soled thick lined boots. She said the book was like a plastic material and inside was an invoice that said zero on it so she threw it all away and the trash had already been picked up. My mom asked if they fit and she said yes. Of course, there is still no clue as to where they came from.

So, my mother tells me the story and I say "She sent a check for them." And my mom starts saying "What are you talking about?" I look at the check register and there it is 8/23/09 a check to Comfort Moccasins. My mother can't stop laughing, and quite frankly neither can I. I call my Grammy and say "I hear you got some boots." And she says, "Yes, I have no idea where they came from." And I say, "You ordered them." To which she says, "I did?" (read that with a high level of shock) "Let me get my checkbook." As she puts the phone down on the table I hear her say "Oh Lord, oh Lord." I am trying really hard to contain myself at this point. She comes back to the phone and I tell her to go to the date of 8/23/09 and look for check number 2395 and there in front of her are the words Comfort Moccasins. She now says she is blushing and hanging her head in shame and tells me to never get old (well, it's too late for that - we are all headed in that direction). After she goes on telling me all about the boots and that she forgot all about them since they didn't show up right away (she doesn't realize it takes a while to mail a check, process the check and the order and then ship the product unlike shopping online or using a debit/credit card on the phone). I ask her if she likes them and she says "Oh yes!" So I say, "Well good, because you have new boots." By-the-way, she keeps calling them boots, but I'm thinking they are probably slippers with a rubber sole so that if you need to run to the mailbox they won't get ruined and you don't have to chance shoes.

As the southerners say "Bless her heart!"

My Grandmother is sooo funny!

My grandfather died 3 years ago (will be 4 in July) and since that time I have been handling my grandmother's checkbook. She writes checks to pay her bills and then I go online to her bank and keep a check register of all her checks and deposits.

Every month after the first week of the month (I have to wait for her Social Security and Civil Service checks to be deposited) I call her and we go over her checkbook. Below is a glimpse of what these conversations sound like:

ME: Hi Grammy. It's Heather.
HER: Hello. It's your grandmother.
ME: Yes, I know. I called you.
HER: Hold on...let me get my book.
ME: Okay...
HER: Okay so I have $xxx.xx for Social Security and $xxx.xx for Civil Service.
ME: Yes. That's right.
HER: Okay, where do you want to start?
ME: I see the last check you wrote was ONE TWO ZERO EIGHT for FOUR ONE ONE TWO. (Yes, I actually say each number instead of 1208 (twelve oh eight) for $41.12 (forty-one twelve) because she gets confused.) Have you written any other checks since that one?
HER: OH YES! I have written so many checks this month.
ME: Okay, ONE TWO ZERO NINE?
HER: THREE ONE TWO SEVEN for the pharmacy
ME: Okay, ONE TWO ONE ZERO?
HER: TWO ONE SEVEN TWO. I had to go to the pharmacy again because my other prescription wasn't ready.
ME: Okay. That's fine. ONE TWO ONE ONE?
HER: No. That's it. (ummm...didn't she just say she had written a bunch of checks? Did I miss something?)
ME: Okay. Are you sure that's it?
HER: Yes.
ME: Okay. You have interest to add in the amount of ONE FIVE THREE. Hold on and I will add everything up.
HER: Okay. I have time. You are my angel from Heaven. I really appreciate you doing this for me.
ME: Of course. I know you do. Okay...you're new total is (and this is fictional of course) ONE SEVEN TWO FIVE FOUR SIX.
HER: Okay...SS (amount spelled out), Civil Service (amount spelled out), Interest (amount spelled out) and balance (spelled out).
ME: Yes. That's right.
HER: You have no idea how much of a help you are to me. The neighbors have been so nice. I ate dinner with them 2 times last month. I went out for lunch with my other angel from Heaven, Gary. Bill brought me my 23rd chicken sandwich for lunch the other day (yes, she is keeping track of how many sandwiches he has brought her). People have been so nice to me. I am so lucky. Everyone hugs me at church when I go.
ME: Of course they do grammy. Everyone loves you.
HER: I just miss your grandfather so much. I look over at his chair and I just see him there. I want to be with him.
ME: We miss him too, but we want you here. It's not your time yet.
HER: I know. I just miss him.
ME: We all do.
HER: Give everyone my love. Give mom and dad a hug for me.
ME: I will.
HER: Thank you so much for all your help. You are my angel from Heaven.
ME: You're welcome. I love you. Good bye.
HER: Bye.

For the record...except for the specific dollar amounts - this is pretty much the exact conversation we have every single month! Gosh I love her!