Monday, December 22, 2008

What DOES happen when you pick the legs off the frog?

When I was in elementary school there was a way we could walk home that took us behind the community center in Navy Housing and over a little creek. There were several days that we would get to the bridge that went over the creek and find frog bodies without legs and then tossed off to the side were a bunch of frog legs. This devastated me!

Why the walk down memory lane you ask?

Today on the way back from lunch a subject about such things came up. Gruesome, I know. It started by a co-worker saying she recently hit a poor, helpless bunny rabbit on her way out of her subdivision one early morning. Which in turn reminded me of hitting a bunny in Canada while with some friends only to have a friend coldly say "That's okay - I here there is an over abundance of them anyway." This recollection brought us to frogs! Co-worker said when she lived in SC she was mowing the lawn one day and ran over a frog with the mower and chopped off one of his legs...Now, before I proceed I have a question.

If you ran over a frog with your lawn mower what would you do?
(1) Say: "It's okay, the leg will grow back."
(2) Run over it with the lawn mower again.
(3) Stomp it to death.

My answer was (1) because when I encountered those frogs on my way home from school I am 100% sure that someone told me that the legs would grow back. Hindsight being 20/20 (and the comments of my 2 co-workers riding in the car with me at lunch) lead me to believe that this comment was a mechanism used to control an upset little girl who had just seen a bunch of mutlilated frogs!

The correct answer in this instance is - (3) stomp it to death! That's what my co-worker did to put it out of his misery. I think I lived a better life thinking their legs would grow back! Darn reality - it will bite you in the ass every time!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Quote of the Day

This was sent to me via e-mail and I find it absolutely perfect (in every way)!

Quote of the day:
'Whatever you give a woman.... she will make greater. If you give her sperm.... she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house.... she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries... she'll give you a meal.. If you give her a smile... she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So... if you give her any crap... be ready to receive a ton of shit!'

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Holiday Parties without a Date (part 2)

You know the best thing about going to a party alone? When a guy calls you while you are on your way home and asks you to meet him and his friends out at a bar to listen to live music!

No date = fun with the girls during the party & fun with the guy after! *wink* *wink*

And for the record - I am a good girl so get your mind out of the gutter!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Holiday Parties without a Date

Holiday parties in and of themselves are not horrible. They especially seem horrible when you are the only one not in a relationship. I have a Christmas party tomorrow night for the salon where I work. At first several girls were going without their significant others...then they changed their minds. Then one of my co-workers went back and forth about her husband going. He was going, he wasn't going, he was going, he didn't want to go. In the midst of all this I ask my BFF to go with me - he and I are great friends and dinner companions and that is it. Although once interested in dating him I realize we are not compatible on that level. Dinner with him is safe - and the Christmas party would be too.

My conversation with him goes like this:
ME: I have a Christmas party next Saturday night and (whining) I don't want to be the only one without a date.
BFF: Aaaawww
ME: I know you don't like people, but don't you want to go?
BFF: I could go.
ME: Everyone knows you don't like people and they said "Why don't you bring your friend that doesn't like people?"
BFF: laughs - I would go.
ME: Really? You would go? I didn't expect you to say you would go.
BFF: I would go, but I wouldn't be excited about it.
ME: Okay. Well, I will confirm that everyone is really bringing a date and let you know for sure. It's business dressy. And, I have to warn you - I am wearing really long green feather eyelashes.
BFF: WHY? Why are you wearing those eyelashes?
ME: Because I want to be festive and different.
BFF: Okay. Like I said - I will go, but I won't be excited.

Fast forward a few days - BFF is not going with me. Said co-worker is definitely not brining her husband. So, both guys are off the hook (this time).

I would have had fun with BFF, even though he wouldn't have been excited. But now I don't have to worry about whether or not he is miserable.

I need a significant other. I would make him go - excited or not!

Early Morning 5k

I work every other Saturday at a salon. This, of course, means no sleeping in on those days.

A friend asked me to join her in a 5k event, which I generally like to do. I forgot all about it...why?? Because it's my Saturday to sleep in! Well, guess what? It's tomorrow! And I have to get my lazy ass out of bed tomorrow to meet up with her and the other friend we talked into joining - they are the only ones that signed up. So, I'm signing up now and know that I have to be good on my date tonight - no extra late night! Have to be home at a reasonable hour so I can do my 5k. Wish me luck! (On all accounts)

And for the record, even though I have done a marathon and a 1/2 marathon - it has been quite a while and it has also been a while since I took my butt to the gym or did a 5k. I have a Christmas party tomorrow night - hope I can walk!

Why I went to bed MAD!

Wednesday night (that would be 12/10/08) I decided to head to bed at a reasonable hour for me (11 pm) and picked up my favorite magazine to do a little pre-sleep reading. My favorite magazine is Reader's Digest (and yes, I am 38 not 88).

If I read this particular magazine prior to sleep I usually skip around and read all the jokes so that I go to bed on a high - having laughed myself silly. But this particular night I got caught up in an article by Michael Crowley who often writes about things that would easily piss a person off - not because he offends me - because he brings to light bullshit happening in our country! And so was the case on Wednesday night.

I decided to read his article about a government program called the National Flood Insurance Program. This program is in debt to the tune of $17 BILLION dollars. Normal people like me can't even truly imagine what that looks like (a lot of zeros - that's for sure). This program offers low cost insurance for people living in flood zones. WHY would that be an option? Well, because some brilliant people in DC voted this crap into effect. And do you know WHO is paying for this $17 billion dollars? Yep - you guessed it - that would be those of us that are tax payers! WTF??

I think that this program needs to seriously be looked at and reformed. People should not be allowed to continuously build on the same piece of land that will eventually get flooded again - and have someone else pay for it. One of the examples in the article is: One house in Houston has flooded 16 times; repairs have totaled $807,000, seven times the market value of the property. You cannot be serious! How on earth can we allow them to use our tax dollars to rebuild a home 16 times and it's worth is significantly lower?!

Below is a link to the article from Reader's Digest. The more I read this stuff and see what is going on in our world the more I think I need to run for public office. We need to start a grassroots effort to turn this country around! I've had enough!!

As most of you know I am not a fan of our newly elected official, but I will do my best to support him as our leader. I must say, however, that he ran on the platform of "Yes we Can" and "Change" so on that note let's pull the plug on all the ludicrous stuff being put into effect by our government. Each and every one of us counts and can make a difference...if you don't like what is going on with programs such as this one - stand up for your rights and do something about how your tax dollars are spent!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How to be Clumsy 101...

I am so clumsy and silly! And I don't just mean clumsy like tripping over myself (although I do that a lot) - I mean clumsy like doing things that don't make sense (almost like my mind is clumsy).

Here are some for instances:

I'm at work and we have to wear a badge. This badge must be swipped going in and out of main doors to building. So, one day I'm on the 2nd floor (where my exciting cube is) and have to go downstairs via the elevator so I can leave for the day. I am standing there wondering why the damn door isn't opening. Hmmm...I don't know how long it is before it dawns on me that I swipped my badge in front of the button instead of pushing it to go down. LOL

Another day I'm at work, standing in front of the elevator with some co-workers and we are getting ready to go to lunch. The elevator door opens and people are inside (that's what happens on elevators, you know) and it seems to scare me and I jump like 2 feet off the floor as if I have never seen people on an elevator before.

Then there was the day that my friend KM and I went to lunch and I come back and park the car as normal. On the way out that afternoon I am wandering around looking for my car. I try to call KM to see if she remembers where I parked. I am clueless looking for my car. KM calls me back and I'm like "Do you remember...OMG..." and I die laughing. I am laughing so hard I am doubled over and can't even really speak. While I am asking where my car is I realize I am standing right in front of it! This is why I start laughing so hard. Of course then KM is laughing and then I almost pee my pants laughing so hard!

So, now let's talk about being clumsy like tripping (my friend JA would really love this because he thinks it's funny when people fall). Most of my friends know about the terrible experience with dropping a 35 pound weight on my toe and breaking it to the point of surgery.'s the dumb ass thing that happened tonight! Most people who know me make fun of my handbags and especially the size and weight of them. I have this really beautiful red patent leather one that I get lots of compliments on. One of the guys who eats lunch with some of us always says he can't pick it up because he didn't work out that day. I have a bad habit of putting my handbag on the floor next to my desk in my home office when I get home at night. Tonight I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom and bumped my big toe on my right foot. It felt like I bent the nail back or tore off the top layer of nail. So, after my stop in the bathroom I took my warm fuzzy sock off and not only did I peel off the top layer of nail - the whole corner of my nail came off and it was bleeding! Do you know anyone else that would happen to? NO and I don't either.

Man...I need to pay attention to what I am doing. Being clumsy is very dangerous. LOL