Are you Celebrating S.A.D. or V-Day this Year?

Thank you Simply for reminding me, and all the other single people, that Valentine's Day (V-Day) is fast approaching and I am single (and that would be STILL single BTW).

Simply has a boyfriend this year and is excited, as he should be. He no longer has to celebrate S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) like the rest of us lonely single people!

Around this time last year or maybe 2-3 months after January I put myself "out there" on Match.com and trying to go places where I "might" meet people (especially guys). I've met a lot of nice guys, but I was really hoping that by mid-year 2008 I would be dating someone and we would have some quality holiday-time together. Which would then carry us into 2009 and thus V-Day! But, as luck would have it...I will be celebrating S.A.D. again this year.

Damn Holidays! And Damn Hallmark for making up all these holidays! Damn, Damn, Damn!

I have no Couth!

I have always tried to pride myself on being respectful of people's differences and being brought up to not make fun of people, but the other day I found out I truly have no couth at all! I met a really nice guy on a dating site (Plenty of Fish to be exact - although it may be a play on words because I don't think there are really "plenty" out there). While talking and sharing lots of laughs one thing came to light and I will share it with you now... I have copied and pasted this from the e-mail that I sent to a friend (so dates/times are not exact but you will get the point).

I was really, really raised better than this. My ONLY saving grace - POF guy has a terrific sense of humor and didn't make me feel bad about being a jackass with absolutely no manners whatsoever!! And...if he's reading - you did, in a round about way, give me permission to write this. :)

As discussed with my friends and co-workers in the past, teeth are very important to me. Equal to a nice smile is a nice set of well taken care of (and perhaps, pedicured) feet. So after last week's little rendezvous and meeting the guy who had jacked up teeth I felt it important to point out these things to my new potential suitor. I told him how important teeth and feet are to me.

I then asked him a question I often ask guys - "So, would you ever go get a pedicure with a woman you are dating?" He says no and I say, "Why? They are so fantastic! Once a guy gets one he is usually addicted." He just isn't interested. Hmmm...should this be a red flag?

We continue on with our conversation and something else directs us toward feet again. Now he says that I probably wouldn't like him because of his feet. Oh no! What could it be? And I say "What's the matter, do you only have 3 toes?" He says, "No, I have 5 toes...Only 5 toes." I gasp out of disbelief and the horrible feeling that I just said something awful and offensive. "OMG, what happened," I ask. Well, when he was 2 years old he goes running out of the house while his mother is mowing the lawn. He runs between her and the lawn mower and there is an accident. He actually is missing half his foot. He said if you look down the front of your leg and straight down that's where his foot ends.I really don't know what to say at this point, but I do manage to say "Wow! Your mother must have been devastated." He said he never really thought of that until he was an adult. I ask if he has a prosthetic foot and he says he has some kind of device that he puts in his shoe and it goes around his ankle. As I am not very discreet, but rather very inquisitive I say "You have a strap on foot?" He laughs (whew). And then I ask if he limps and other such questions. I ask him if he has ever told people that he lost his foot because of an alligator - terrorizing people can be fun sometimes. He says he did have some fun as a kid charging a quarter, and even marbles, to the kids at school if they wanted to see his foot. He said he would sometimes put his shoe on backwards and walk around being funny.

THIS GUY HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR! I am completely turned on by it, and his ability to laugh in the face of adversity. Of course, it also helps because then I can keep asking questions and not feel too bad. I did ask him if this subject had ever come up so early when first meeting someone. He said it usually doesn't come up until he and his date are at a point of getting to know each other and taking their shoes off.

Toward the end of our 4 hour conversation (believe it or not he kept talking to me) I said to him..."You know, I am totally going to have to see your foot when we go out." He says he knows. And then I say, "I won't make you whip it out in the restaurant or anything. We'll have to go to the car." He just laughs. (Again, whew)

Today we text a few times while working. I text at one point..."Thank you for keeping me laughing! I love it! You have a great sense of humor!!" His reply, "I learned to be funny to compensate for my feet and tooth." Of course, he said tooth because he knows I have a teeth and foot fetish! Not fair - he's roping me in with his humor. Making me laugh at things I shouldn't!

I did learn a lesson though, you kind of have to be careful when you are telling someone you are a stickler about something such as nice teeth and feet... you never know the circumstances that may prevent them from having that!

PS...my mother knows this story and she thinks I am off my rocker! She can't believe (well, yes she can) that I asked any of these questions or laughed or any of it! She definitely thinks she raised me better. She did, but I don't seem to have a filter on my mouth!

Dating (I think I actually don't like it)

Dating, while it's supposed to be fun and exciting is just too much work. I don't want to serial date, and I don't really want a date every night of the week unless with the same guy. I want to find ONE guy that I really like and stick with him and I want him to feel the same about me.

I've met some really great guys lately, but I don't know if any of them really blow me away at this moment. (Although there is one that could be a winner, but not sure he feels the same way.) And, he doesn't live as close as I would prefer.

Oh, why can't it be as simple as having one date and knowing that's it! You found the one and can move on. Why does it have to be like walking on pins and needles?

Maybe if I move to UAB it won't matter!

Holiday Parties without a Date

Holiday parties in and of themselves are not horrible. They especially seem horrible when you are the only one not in a relationship. I have a Christmas party tomorrow night for the salon where I work. At first several girls were going without their significant others...then they changed their minds. Then one of my co-workers went back and forth about her husband going. He was going, he wasn't going, he was going, he didn't want to go. In the midst of all this I ask my BFF to go with me - he and I are great friends and dinner companions and that is it. Although once interested in dating him I realize we are not compatible on that level. Dinner with him is safe - and the Christmas party would be too.

My conversation with him goes like this:
ME: I have a Christmas party next Saturday night and (whining) I don't want to be the only one without a date.
BFF: Aaaawww
ME: I know you don't like people, but don't you want to go?
BFF: I could go.
ME: Everyone knows you don't like people and they said "Why don't you bring your friend that doesn't like people?"
BFF: laughs - I would go.
ME: Really? You would go? I didn't expect you to say you would go.
BFF: I would go, but I wouldn't be excited about it.
ME: Okay. Well, I will confirm that everyone is really bringing a date and let you know for sure. It's business dressy. And, I have to warn you - I am wearing really long green feather eyelashes.
BFF: WHY? Why are you wearing those eyelashes?
ME: Because I want to be festive and different.
BFF: Okay. Like I said - I will go, but I won't be excited.

Fast forward a few days - BFF is not going with me. Said co-worker is definitely not brining her husband. So, both guys are off the hook (this time).

I would have had fun with BFF, even though he wouldn't have been excited. But now I don't have to worry about whether or not he is miserable.

I need a significant other. I would make him go - excited or not!

Meet the Parents

Is there ever really a great time to meet the parents? Do you date someone and instantly think "Wow...I just can't wait to meet his/her parents"? I don't believe I have ever come in contact with anyone who gets that excited about it. More than anything I think it's more a nervous "Okay, what the heck" situation when it finally takes place. And then, of course, there is every other scenario in between.

How about dating someone for quite a while (maybe continually / maybe on and off) and the parents are coming to town and they don't really even know about you. What then? How exactly does that conversation go? Not just between you and the parents, but what about between you and the significant other?

What about meeting someone on Match - having great chemistry and heading home with that person knowing full well their mother has recently come to live with him/her? You have had a wonderful date including dinner and a few drinks, a good movie, and then terrific conversation at a bar afterward with a pretty good band playing in the background. The signs are all there and you decide to join your date for a sleep over party! You figure you will get up early and head out before the mother is the wiser...and then, you wake up in the morning and realize it didn't go quite as planned! You get up, clean up (you know - the I just had major surgery and can't hop in shower kind of washing or the I didn't bring all my crap clean-up), brush your teeth, brush your hair to the best of your ability considering it is sticking up in more places than you have ever imagined it could. After your quick stint in the bathroom your date heads in to take a full shower, enjoying all the amenities because, well, he/she is in the comfort of their own home. And while they shower you make small talk with mom who you realize is up and about since the time you shut the bathroom door to start your make-shift showering process. You secretly pray to yourself that you hope this doesn't ruin your chances of seeing your date again because you really, really enjoyed the evening AND the sleep over party!

According to the conversations with my friends, discussing such events as above, it seems that everyone has the same feeling..."Whew, it seemed like the parents liked me. I just hope my date and/or boyfriend/girlfriend keeps me around long enough not to go through that "first time" meeting stuff again anytime soon!"

Dating is not for the faint at heart...you have to be prepared for everything. The conversations leading up to the first meeting (especially with this Internet dating age), the initial meeting, the sleep over parties, AND meeting the parents. Are you sure you're up to it? Sometimes I'm not so sure I am!