I have always tried to pride myself on being respectful of people's differences and being brought up to not make fun of people, but the other day I found out I truly have no couth at all! I met a really nice guy on a dating site (Plenty of Fish to be exact - although it may be a play on words because I don't think there are really "plenty" out there). While talking and sharing lots of laughs one thing came to light and I will share it with you now... I have copied and pasted this from the e-mail that I sent to a friend (so dates/times are not exact but you will get the point).
I was really, really raised better than this. My ONLY saving grace - POF guy has a terrific sense of humor and didn't make me feel bad about being a jackass with absolutely no manners whatsoever!! And...if he's reading - you did, in a round about way, give me permission to write this. :)
As discussed with my friends and co-workers in the past, teeth are very important to me. Equal to a nice smile is a nice set of well taken care of (and perhaps, pedicured) feet. So after last week's little rendezvous and meeting the guy who had jacked up teeth I felt it important to point out these things to my new potential suitor. I told him how important teeth and feet are to me.
I then asked him a question I often ask guys - "So, would you ever go get a pedicure with a woman you are dating?" He says no and I say, "Why? They are so fantastic! Once a guy gets one he is usually addicted." He just isn't interested. Hmmm...should this be a red flag?
We continue on with our conversation and something else directs us toward feet again. Now he says that I probably wouldn't like him because of his feet. Oh no! What could it be? And I say "What's the matter, do you only have 3 toes?" He says, "No, I have 5 toes...Only 5 toes." I gasp out of disbelief and the horrible feeling that I just said something awful and offensive. "OMG, what happened," I ask. Well, when he was 2 years old he goes running out of the house while his mother is mowing the lawn. He runs between her and the lawn mower and there is an accident. He actually is missing half his foot. He said if you look down the front of your leg and straight down that's where his foot ends.I really don't know what to say at this point, but I do manage to say "Wow! Your mother must have been devastated." He said he never really thought of that until he was an adult. I ask if he has a prosthetic foot and he says he has some kind of device that he puts in his shoe and it goes around his ankle. As I am not very discreet, but rather very inquisitive I say "You have a strap on foot?" He laughs (whew). And then I ask if he limps and other such questions. I ask him if he has ever told people that he lost his foot because of an alligator - terrorizing people can be fun sometimes. He says he did have some fun as a kid charging a quarter, and even marbles, to the kids at school if they wanted to see his foot. He said he would sometimes put his shoe on backwards and walk around being funny.
THIS GUY HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR! I am completely turned on by it, and his ability to laugh in the face of adversity. Of course, it also helps because then I can keep asking questions and not feel too bad. I did ask him if this subject had ever come up so early when first meeting someone. He said it usually doesn't come up until he and his date are at a point of getting to know each other and taking their shoes off.
Toward the end of our 4 hour conversation (believe it or not he kept talking to me) I said to him..."You know, I am totally going to have to see your foot when we go out." He says he knows. And then I say, "I won't make you whip it out in the restaurant or anything. We'll have to go to the car." He just laughs. (Again, whew)
Today we text a few times while working. I text at one point..."Thank you for keeping me laughing! I love it! You have a great sense of humor!!" His reply, "I learned to be funny to compensate for my feet and tooth." Of course, he said tooth because he knows I have a teeth and foot fetish! Not fair - he's roping me in with his humor. Making me laugh at things I shouldn't!
I did learn a lesson though, you kind of have to be careful when you are telling someone you are a stickler about something such as nice teeth and feet... you never know the circumstances that may prevent them from having that!
PS...my mother knows this story and she thinks I am off my rocker! She can't believe (well, yes she can) that I asked any of these questions or laughed or any of it! She definitely thinks she raised me better. She did, but I don't seem to have a filter on my mouth!