Do you know what today is???

Most of you won't be able to put 2 and 2 together to figure out what today is beyond the fact that it is a beautiful Saturday and it's April 25th! But, today is a sad day for me in some respects...it marks the one year anniversary of the first official day of my salon being closed.

Last year at approximately 4:00 pm on Thursday, April 24th I announced to my team that we would not reopen for business the next day and for the next 1/2 hour I had an utter breakdown and anxiety attack and thought I was having a heart attack. I convulsed and cried and carried on - on the salon's kitchen floor - for at least 30 minutes. I was a failure in my eyes...and I had failed my employees and our clients.

Today I realize I learned a lot from that experience. I am glad I tried it, and I'm ready for a new and better phase for my life. WHICH STARTS RIGHT NOW!! (Well, in my mind it started yesterday or 1 this morning when I was typing out my other posts.)

I can't believe it's been a year...it's been rough, but it can only get better. Right? Please say I'm right!

Read with Me...

I just started reading 10-10-10 by Suzy Welch. It's about taking the time to think of the impact decisions will have on your life Now...a little while in the future...in the distant future.

• The first step is to determine your question (like...should I do this or that?).
• Then collect the data...be honest when asking yourself what the consequences will be of your options (in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years...or whatever time frame applies to you).
• The last step is analysis. Take all the information you've compiled and compare it to your innermost values, beliefs, goals, dreams, and needs.

I am still in the very beginning of the book...I will keep you posted of what I learn. I always enjoy reading something that makes me take time for self reflection...there is never any harm in looking within yourself!

Feeling Quizical

Thanks to my friend Princess Sparkle Pants showing the results of her recent Myers-Briggs test I was feeling a wee bit quizical and Smarty McSmarty Pants (not in a Jeopardy kind of way though - I'm not that smart).

I decided to go online and take the test myself and this is what I found out...I am an ENTJ and according to this I am:

• slightly expressed extravert
• moderately expressed intuitive personality
• slightly expressed thinking personality
• slightly expressed judging personality

Hmmm...is anyone surprised by these findings? I'm not. I don't know if that's good or bad!

I am Extraverted 22 / iNtuitive 25 / Thinking 12 / Judging 11

It says this on their site: Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

"I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?"

ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.

ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.

TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)

ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.

Functional Analysis
Extraverted Thinking
"Unequivocating" expresses the resoluteness of the ENTJ's dominant function. Clarity of convictions endows these Thinkers with a knack for debate, or wanting knack, a penchant for argument. The light and heat generated by Thinking at the helm can be impressive; perhaps even overwhelming. Experience teaches many ENTJs that restraint may often be the better part of valor, lest one find oneself victorious but alone.

Introverted iNtuition
The auxiliary function explores the blueprints of archetypal patterns and equips Thinking with a fresh, dynamic sense of how things work. Improvising on the fly is something many ENTJs do very well. As Thinking's subordinate, insights are of value only insofar as they further the Right, True Cause celebre. [n.b.: ENTJs are capable of living on a higher plane, if you will, and learning to value individuals even above their principles. The above dynamic suggests less individuation.]

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing reaches out to embrace that which physically touches it. ENTJs have an awareness of the real; of that which exists. By stilling the engines of Thinking and iNtuition, this type may experience the Here and Now, and know things not dreamt of nor even postulated in iNtuition's philosophy. Sensing's minor role, however, puts it at risk for distortion or extreme weakness beneath the hustle and bustle of the giants N and T.

Introverted Feeling
Feeling is romantic, as the ethereal as the inner world from whence it doth emerge. When it be awake, feeling evokes great passion that knows not nuance of proportion nor context. Perhaps these lesser functions inspire glorious recreational quests in worlds that never were, or may only ever be in fantasy. When overdone or taken too seriously, Fi turned outward often becomes maudlin or melodramatic. Feeling in this type appears most authentic when implied or expressed covertly in a firm handshake, accepting demeanor, or act of sacrifice thinly covered by excuses of lack of any personal interest in the relinquished item.

Famous ENTJs:
Franklin D. Roosevelt, Richard M. Nixon, Benny Goodman, "Big Band" leader, General Norman Schwarzkopf, Harrison Ford, Steve Martin, Whoopi Goldberg, Sigourney Weaver, Margaret Thatcher, Al Gore (U.S Vice President, 1993-2001), Lamar Alexander (former governor, US Secretary of Education), Les Aspen, former U.S. Secretary of Defense, Candace Bergen (Murphy Brown), Dave Letterman, Newt Gingrich, Patrick Stewart (STNG: Jean Luc Picard), Robert James Waller (author: The Bridges of Madison County), Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask), Steve Jobs, and Penn Jillette.

*For those who know me - I'm not a fan of Al Gore being in the same category. But I'm happy about Margaret Thatcher and Newt Gingrich.

Possible jobs for someone of my "rating" are: Management in Business or Education, Miliatry Education, Politics, Law, Counseling, Engineering, Industrial Management & Manufacturing Management, High School Education, or Computer Programming.

I enjoy business management, have often contemplated politics on a local level (mayor), long ago thought about getting into law, often counsel others (Human Resources is my background), and I love to think of new ways to do stuff from a computer standpoint (although I like to come up with the ideas and have someone else do it).

I'm not a Quitter (really)

So, since i enrolled in Cosmetology classes I have felt the instructors are less than enthused about teaching. Frankly, at my age, I feel like I want to learn from people who (a) want to be there, (b) don't leave the room after showing us one time and expect us to "get it", (c) have the decency to realize that I haven't been doing this for 20 years like they have! I'm in school because - well, here's a thought - I don't know what I'm doing! Yes, I owned a salon, and have been around the industry for over 20 years (managed a salon too long ago, and have just always had a passion for the beauty industry), but that does not mean I know everything.

My background is Operations and Human Resources (and some accounting - my first love). I LOVE the paperwork part of the business especially...the sitting down for hours looking at other salon/spa's websites to see what they are doing, the talking to people and marketing my business as a whole and the individuals within, the coming up with new ideas part of things. This is my passion.

Last week I had a MAJOR meltdown at school and went off on the teacher. It was NOT pretty. I do not regret telling her (or the other students in the class) how I feel about the way things are going, although I do regret how it all went down. I had already been considering leaving at the end of the quarter to apprentice at a salon in order to learn and earn money at the same time. Wednesday night in class made me realize that I now need to do this just to be sane. I do not want to spend anymore of my time with people who aren't 100% vested in my future and getting me where I want/need to be. I had every intention finishing out this quarter. However, this morning I woke up and just decided it's a total waste of time to spend the next 4 weeks in a situation I am not happy about. I wouldn't continue dating someone if I was this unhappy...why finish this? I can take a couple of weeks to gather my thoughts and get some rest (haha - for those of you that know me - this won't happen) and then start my new part-time job of apprenticing on the nights I would have attended school!

I am not really a quitter, but this time I am excusing myself from a situation that in no way benefits me and only makes me more and more unhappy. So, I guess all I can say is "I quit (school that is)."